5:03am
Go back to sleep, brain. It’s too early to get up.
It’s too late to go back to sleep. You might as well get up.
Go back to sleep, brain.
Think of all the work you could get done. No interruptions.
Sleep, brain.
Work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work.
6:03am
Woke up. Fell out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head. Found my way downstairs and drank a cup. And looking up I noticed I was late. Found my coat and grabbed my hat. Made the bus in seconds flat. Found my way upstairs and had a smoke. And somebody spoke and I went into a dream.
7:26am
Oh, right, the shelving from yesterday. I will get stuck in to that. After morning tea.
8:14am
Generic library email account – inbox zero. Woo hoo.
Personal email account – 122 unread, 214 kept, 42 junk. I’m sure I can delete some of those. Well, not that one yet. Have I done that? Has she got back to me? Tomorrow will be quieter, I will clear out my inbox then.
9:32am
Sure, I can help you access the mandatory training online. Do you have your password? So… which of those on the sticky note is crossed out, and which is active? Ok, maybe we can reset it. Can you log in to your email? Not for the last nine months. Ok, let’s ring helpdesk.
10:32am
Ok. Now that’s all sorted you should be good to…oh, its actually state-wide mandatory training, not local. Yes, that is on a different platform. Yes, it has a different password. Yes, there are too many to remember.
11:17am
Good job upgrading to Endnote 21. It will help a lot. No, I don’t know why they changed the colour scheme. No, I don’t know why you can’t move the preview pane to the bottom of the screen. No, I don’t know why full-text retrieval is not more complete. No, you shouldn’t be typing in all of your references manually. No, you won’t lose all of your references. No, Google Scholar should not be your sole source of searching for references. No, I don’t think Chat GPT will do your referencing for you. No, I don’t think you should use Chat GPT to write your assignment for you. No, I can’t write your assignment for you. Yes, that is a lot of money, but still no.
12:18pm
Right, lunch. Fruit. Salad sandwich. Nuts. Booker prize winning novel.
12:20pm
Chicko roll and Coke please. And a Mars Bar.
12:24pm
Doomscroll Doomscroll Doomscroll Doomscroll Doomscroll Doomscroll Doomscroll
12:48pm
Oh, right. The shelving from yesterday. I will get stuck in to that after this lit search.
1:51pm
No. No no no no no no no. 59 lines of search and you time out on me now?!? Nooo.
2:27pm
You’re charging how much for a subscription renewal? And how much of that increase is going to the author? Oh, right, they pay you to get published now. And how much to the peer reviewer? That’s what I thought. And how much to the tax haven shell company? No, no, you’re right, I shouldn’t be cynical, this is an entirely reasonable and sustainable business model. I need the content and you’ve got the content and I can’t get it anywhere else. Sign me up.
3:18pm
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
4:37pm
Oh, you got your scoping review published. Congratulations. You really didn’t need to get me chocolates. All I did was help design and refine the search strategy in Medline. And recalibrate it and run it in Embase, CINAHL, Psycinfo, Cochrane, JBI, Scopus, Google Scholar. And export the results into Covidence. And advise on how to use Covidence. And export the full-text into Covidence. And export the agreed results into Endnote. And advise on how to use Endnote. And check the references. And advise on which journal to publish in. And advise on the submission process. It was nothing, really.
5:17pm
Oh, right, the shelving. Tomorrow is another day.
8:48pm
Read JoHILA. Pretty good. Except for the editorial. That was weird.